we travel not to escape life, but for life not to escape us

Anxiety & Relaxing

June 11, 2014

well I have to admit that I thought this summer would be a time to relax, reflect and recharge from my first year of law school till my second. sure, I'm taking classes and working, but for some reason I thought my schedule would be easier. *laughing at myself*

I work every morning for four hours, have a lunch break, then head to class until 5:40 or 3:00, depending on the day. That doesn't seem so bad, but then I almost always have stuff going on in the evenings too. I'm the type of person that NEEDS time to decompress every day, and if I don't have that it causes me a tremendous amount of anxiety. 

I started going to a therapist in February to work on panic attacks/anxiety. I definitely don't have the same level of anxiety as other people and I've only ever experienced one (maybe two) real panic attacks. But, I have anxiety about having a panic attack and that is pretty brutal as well. 

Anyways, I need to work on relaxing. This is why I wonder how I could ever be successful as a mom. I just can't imagine giving up all my free time to little people who need my attention. I have to go to bed at 10pm every night or I'm exhausted. I hear this is basically impossible as a mom, so, I don't know. 

I also am missing my *girl-time*. I do have girl friends here (including one of my besties), but I miss working with my best girl friends. I wouldn't say I took it for granted when I worked with my group of 6 girlfriends, because I think I appreciated it at the time, but I really miss it. Eating lunch together, venting about whatever, going out straight to happy hour . . . good times.

I hate it when women say they have all man friends because girls are just too much drama. That might be semi-true, but I also think there's probably something wrong with you if you don't have a least a couple (or even one) really good girl friend. Men and women just communicate differently & sometimes you need your girlfriends to have a good vent with. Amirite?

Also, back to the relaxing thing ... it's weird because as a teacher I felt like a constant level of stress/anxiety but I never felt like how I'm feeling now. Maybe I just learned to live with that stress -- it was a "known" stress. But I also think I was pretty good at unwinding. One of my favorite things to do, was(is?) - you guessed it - blogging! I love to write. I have been writing since I can remember. My first diaries were in 2nd grade and I never stopped. But, I don't know. I have felt so uninspired to blogggg lately, everytime I open this box I start typing something, then delete it, all the while planning out blog posts in my mind on my run or while driving.

So, I'm going to make a more concerted effort to blog something every day. I'm not going to have pictures and I'm not going to have a lot to say, but I like it so I need to prioritize it.

This weekend I'm going to Orlando w/Felipe for one of my bestie's bdays. I'm excited because we're staying Fri & Sat night at a hotel across from Downtown Disney. . . well, I'm just excited to have a chance to stay in a hotel, lay by the pool, and, *surprise* RELAX!

What about you? How do you relax?

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