What is a Death Stomachache? || & GO NOLES

First of all:

I literally don't care about football AT ALL, but what I do care about is when every single non-'nole on my FB page talks crap for MONTHS about how the SEC is better than the ACC and FSU only made it to the Championship game because we had easy games... so what I DO care about is all those people choking on the foot in their mouth!

I'm still in NYC so I decided to go to a bar called the Three Monkeys in Midtown West which the NYC Noles told me would be a Seminole game watching bar. The game started at 8 so I did what any normal person would do and I got there at 4.

AT 4 PM.

The bar was completely dead for hours.

Jokes on me!

I also wasn't feeling well. It's what I like to call a 'death stomachache'. I've been having these since I was a teenager and I still don't know what it is so I'd really appreciate any insight.

A death stomachache can only be cured by laying down. It hurts more in the top part of my stomach, not the bottom, "guts" part (like that real scientific description?). That's what's so weird about it. The second I lay down I feel better, but if I even sit up at all, pain.

So, this was affecting me almost the entire time at the bar. Eventually some peeps showed up, Felipe brought cupcakes (best BF!) and the game started.

But literally about 5 minutes in, I was like, OK I need to go home. When we left the bar it was 3-7 Auburn.

Imagine my DISGUST when I got home and it was 3-20 Auburn. What dafuq!?

Then the announcers were talking about Auburn 'blowing out' FSU and I was all, haaaalllleeee nawwww son! We got time!

& Then I watched an entire football game (which I literally NEVER do) and my heart beat so fast the fourth quarter...I didn't know that was possible... and we FREAKING WON!  That was awesome!

& Then I went on FB and STILL sore losers (::cough::gator fans ::cough::) wanna say we didn't deserve it?? F U UF!

And thus ends probably the longest and only time I'll ever write about a football game.

Also, anyone else experience the death stomachache thang, because its legit THE WORST.

xoxo,
kimbo